Big, Middle, Little.

 I’ve three kids. Big, Middle and Little.

They’ve each got very different personalities. 

Sometimes, I find myself with just one of them in view and I get thinking about their position in the family and how it affects them.


I had to go back to last summer to find a photo of the three looking at the camera


I look at my eldest and I think:

It’s just not fair to you.

You’re held back by these little ones and their babyish needs.

They boss you around.

They seek so much more attention.

You want your own space but they want to hang out with you.

We expect so much more of you.

It’s hard being the eldest.

I look at my middle man and I think:

It’s just not fair to you.

You’re neither big enough nor small enough for everything.

You’re passed over at every end.

You’re not the biggest and not the smallest.

You’re in their shadows.

You have to compromise.

It’s hard being in the middle.



I look at my youngest and I think:

It’s just not fair to you.

You’re being made grow up too quickly.

You don’t get to do things appropriate for your age like your brothers did when they were your age.

You’ve been dragged on school runs and activities drop offsto collect from gym class.

You’re bossed around by them.

You’re a big almost three yet they say you’re a baby.

It’s just not fair.



 Then, I look at my eldest and I think:

You have it great really.

You are adored by your younger siblings.

You’re the first to be allowed to do anything.

It’s great being the eldest.


I look at the middle man and think

You have it great really

You’re one of the “big ones” and one of the “little ones”.

You’re looked up to by your little sister and looked out for by your big brother. 

It’s great being in the middle.


I look at the youngest and think

You have it great really

You  get to do things we didn’t even think of doing when your brothers were your age.

You get your own way and your brothers (often) concede just because you’re smaller.

It’s great being the youngest.
I look at them all and think: 

You all have it great, you really do. You have each other, to help you grow up, to let you stay small, to chase around the house, to tickle and giggle, to bicker and bark. 

It’s great to be a the biggest, and  the middle and the littlest, to be part of it all.

And it’s great to be watching you all find your place in the world.


11 thoughts on “Big, Middle, Little.

  1. It’s lovely to be a Grandad and great to see your eldest see her eldest, and her middlest, and her littlest, through shining eyes that sparkle her children into the remarkably beautiful panople they are becoming- just like their Mam!
    Blessed so many times over I’ve lost count.
    Happy Easter!
    Dad ( Grandad)

  2. Ah that’s very lovely. It’s true – there are advantages and disadvantages to it all – as the eldest I was able to get away with way less but had opportunities to do things the boys didn’t because there were more of us. Whereas the littlest brother who will forever be the baby gets away with murder…

  3. Beautiful post, with three kids myself (and being the middle of three) I can really relate, I love the way you looked at all the positives, we can forget those so often. And just looking a them as a whole and how lucky they are to have each other. Loved this!

    1. I do agree, and my husband is the eldest too as is my mum so we “get” our eldest. My Dad who is a middle child reassures my middle-child that that’s the hardest.

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